The Italian way of life means something different to everyone who visits Italy. Some people picture long lunches, while others think of beautiful piazzas, family gatherings, or a leisurely evening stroll. After living here for several years, we’ve realized that those things all have one thing in common—they aren’t rushed.
When we first moved to Italy, we brought our American pace with us. We planned every day, filled every hour, and always looked ahead to the next stop on our list. However, Italy had other ideas. Little by little, it taught us that slowing down isn’t wasting time. Instead, it’s often the best way to experience life.
There are times when I need to tug on Gary’s shirt to slow his pace when we are walking – or vice versa. Today, we still make plans and keep busy. However, we’ve learned to leave room for the moments that don’t appear on an itinerary. Those moments have become some of our favorite memories, and they’ve shown us why Italians never rush the best parts of life.
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Let’s Start With a Personal Story About Our Italian Way of Life
When writing this post, I asked Gary if he could recall a personal moment to share… and it’s perfect for this post. We learned pretty early on that we would most likely be among the first people to arrive at a restaurant.
Once, while staying for several days in Monterosso al Mare in Cinque Terre, Gary and I set off for dinner. And as usual, we were among the first to be seated. The restaurant had tables with long benches and chairs on the opposite side. Eventually, other diners began arriving, and our table grew. After a delicious meal and great conversation down the entire table of about four other couples and families, we asked for the check. The restaurant owner wouldn’t have it. More limoncello was brought, along with some grappa to try. In total, it was about a 3.5-hour experience we will never forget. New friends made and a restaurant we will continue to patronize.
Coffee Is About People, Not Just Espresso
Walk into a neighborhood bar early in the morning, and you’ll quickly notice something different. Customers greet the barista by name, chat with friends, and enjoy a few quiet moments before heading off to work.
Most Italians drink their espresso in just a minute or two. Even so, they don’t treat coffee as another task to complete. Instead, they use those few minutes to connect with the people around them.
We’ve come to appreciate that daily ritual ourselves. Even on busy mornings, it’s nice to pause rather than rush through the rest of the day. It’s quite funny because most days, either Gary or I will ask one another, “What day is it?” Life has slowed down so much (I know its because we’re retired too… well Gary is (giggles). But truly nothing is urgent. It’s daily life finding its place in our day.
Meals Deserve More Than Fifteen Minutes
Meals in Italy aren’t simply about eating. They’re an opportunity to gather, catch up, and enjoy each other’s company. If you’ve dined in Italy, you’ve probably noticed that your server doesn’t bring the check as soon as you’ve finished eating. Instead, the staff waits until you ask for it. Years ago, that felt unusual to us. Now, we appreciate it because nobody expects us to hurry through the experience. The table is ours until we wish to leave.
The conversation matters just as much as the meal. That’s one of the reasons dining in Italy feels so different from dining in many other countries.
The Passeggiata Has No Destination
One of our favorite traditions is the evening passeggiata. As the sun begins to set, families, friends, and neighbors head into town for a leisurely walk.
Some people stop for gelato, while others browse shop windows or pause to admire a beautiful church. Children laugh in the piazza, grandparents sit on benches, and friends stop every few steps to catch up.
We’ve spent countless evenings walking through Lucca without any particular destination. Sometimes we end up in Piazza Anfiteatro. Other evenings, we simply wander wherever the streets lead us. No matter where we go, those walks always remind us that not every journey needs a finish line.
Shopping Builds Relationships
Shopping in Italy still feels personal, especially in smaller towns. Many people visit the same bakery, butcher, produce stand, or cheese shop every week. As a result, shopkeepers know their customers by name and often ask about family members before discussing what’s fresh that day. The reverse is also true. When we enter one of our favorite stores, La Macelleria Tuccori Mariano on Via Santa Croce, it’s never a short “in and out” visit. There’s always something to catch up on. The family, the weather… we are always checking in with each other. “Tutta bene?” – everything okay?
We’ve watched customers spend several minutes chatting before anyone reaches for a wallet. Those conversations aren’t interruptions. Instead, they’re part of everyday life, strengthening the sense of community that makes Italy feel so welcoming. Sometimes that’s a bit annoying because they are just chatting, and I’m next in line, ready to place my order. But I have to stop myself (it’s always a conscious effort) to remember that five extra minutes won’t change anything. Then, of course, there are the 5-7 “Ciao’s” just for the customer to leave the store.
Sundays Still Belong to Family
Although Italy continues to change, Sundays remain special in many communities. Families gather around long tables for lunch, and conversations often continue well into the afternoon. Meanwhile, many local businesses close so people can spend time with the ones they love.
When we first arrived, we sometimes found those closures inconvenient. Today, we see them differently. They remind us that relationships deserve our time and attention.
The Best Memories Aren’t Scheduled
Before moving to Italy, we packed our travel days with museums, landmarks, and sightseeing. We wanted to see as much as possible because we didn’t know when we’d return.
Today, we plan a little differently. We still visit wonderful places, but we also leave space for unexpected discoveries. That’s how we’ve stumbled upon local festivals, found quiet streets filled with flowers, and enjoyed conversations that lasted far longer than we expected.
Those experiences didn’t happen because we planned every minute. They happened because we slowed down long enough to notice them.
Slow Down and Let Italy Surprise You
When people ask us what living in Italy has taught us, we rarely mention a famous landmark or a favorite restaurant first. Instead, we talk about the pace of life. Italy hasn’t made us less productive. Instead, it has helped us become more present. We still have deadlines, responsibilities, and busy days. I always say I’m not retired because I work on this blog almost every day. I work on our marketing and social media every day. But if life presents something special, or even a moment to share a spontaneous moment with friends, count me in. My responsibilities can always wait. So we’ve learned that we don’t have to hurry through every moment.
So, when you visit Italy, climb the towers, tour the museums, and photograph the famous landmarks. Then give yourself permission to do something that doesn’t appear in any guidebook.
- Order another espresso.
- Stay a little longer over lunch.
- Take an evening walk through town without looking at a map.
- Sit on a bench in the piazza and watch everyday life unfold around you.
Final Thoughts
Those quiet moments may seem ordinary while you’re living them. However, years from now, they’re often the memories you’ll treasure most. That’s the real beauty of the Italian way of life. It reminds us that life isn’t a race from one destination to the next. Instead, it’s a collection of moments, conversations, and experiences that deserve our time.
After all, the best parts of life have never been about hurrying. They’re about being present long enough to enjoy them.
This is one of my more favorite posts of yours – it brings back good memories and life lessons learned while visiting bel paese. I love the fact that the neighborhood bar is a coffee shop in the morning, a place to grab ‘un spuntino’ in the afternoon and a spot for an aperitivo before dinner (love the coffee picture with the menu in the corner). In each case, it is a spot to gather and catch up.
I have to agree on your comments about the macelleria – have been there on our trips to Lucca and they have a very strong relationship with their regulars. It is not only wonderful to watch the interactions but, as you so eloquently have said, a good place for a life lesson to slow down and enjoy the people around you.