Living in Italy for five years has changed me in ways I never expected.
When I first wrote this post in April 2019, Gary and I were still discovering what life in Italy might become. We had already fallen in love with the country, but we were still finding our place in it.
Recently, I reread those words and couldn’t help but smile. Some of my thoughts are exactly the same today. Others remind me just how much life can change when you follow your heart.
Since then, we’ve been fortunate to build a life we once only dreamed about. We’ve now called Lucca home for more than five years, written four books, created travel planners, notebooks, and even an Italy-themed coloring book. What started as a small blog sharing our experiences has grown into an award-winning resource that helps thousands of travelers plan their own adventures throughout Italy.
Perhaps the greatest surprise has been the friendships. Readers now visit us in Lucca from all over the world. We’ve shared espresso, lunches, aperitivi, and countless conversations with people who first found us through a blog post, one of our books, or social media. Those moments have become some of our favorite memories.
Rather than rewrite this post, I’ve decided to keep much of it just as it was. It’s a snapshot of who I was in 2019. Along the way, I’ve added a few reflections about what changed the most during these first five years of truly living in Italy.
This post contains affiliate links that help keep this website running. By purchasing through our links, we make a small commission at no extra charge to you. Thank you for your support!
👉 Save on Budget to Luxury Accommodations
Italy and I have had a long relationship; well maybe not long but nine years. Since the moment I stepped off the plane in 2010 in Venice, my heart has always been here ♥. We have other countries to explore, and I know we will in time, but I just can’t get enough of this country and its people. Oh yes, the food is quite good too!
Parma
Our first 90-day stay in Parma back in 2016 gave me my first real taste of everyday life in Italy. Parma was wonderfully pedestrian-friendly, and we rode our bicycles everywhere, from the historic center to the surrounding countryside. While we were there, medieval parades often wound through the streets. We’d hear the distant beat of drums before they came into view, never quite knowing what celebration was taking place. Those unexpected moments were part of Parma’s charm and one of the first times I realized that some of Italy’s best memories are the ones you never plan.
Take a Trip to Italy!
Join others who have purchased and read our book – leaving heartwarming reviews!
Join our journey – we’d love to have you along for the ride!
Florence
Our second 90-day stay brought us to Florence, a complete contrast to Parma. Where Parma felt quiet and intimate, Florence buzzed with energy and welcomed visitors from around the world year-round. Despite its size, I loved every moment there. We immersed ourselves in centuries-old traditions and local celebrations—something I’ve always been drawn to—and discovered there is always something new to see, do, or experience. Even today, Florence remains one of my favorite cities in Italy. If we didn’t live in Lucca, Florence is possibly where I’d want to call home. It’s the number of people that truly deters me.
One-Year Adventure
During our one-year adventure, I quickly realized that if Italy was ever going to feel like home, I still had so much to learn. These were some of my observations at the time. Looking back now, they make me smile because many still ring true, while others remind me just how much I’ve changed.
Watches and Church Bells
Americans often use their watches to measure the day. In Italy, I realized I often forgot to put mine on. Instead, I learned to listen for the church bells. To this day, whenever I hear church bells echo through Lucca, I’m reminded of those first days in Conversano, when I began measuring time a little differently.
Learning Italian
My goal this year is to learn to speak Italian. Gary laughs at me as he knows me so well. I want to learn it all – now! But I have started to come out of my shell and stop hesitating. I stumble and falter at this language I want to learn so badly. But I have found that in shops and restaurants, the Italian people appreciate the attempt I am making. Sometimes I get a smile and a little correction, which I appreciate.
Five years later, I’m still learning Italian, and I probably always will be. I’ve realized that speaking another language isn’t about perfection. It’s about making connections, sharing a smile, and showing respect for the country I now call home.
Laundry
One of my biggest adjustments was learning to live with a much smaller washing machine. I couldn’t understand why a load of laundry seemed to take forever! Eventually I stopped worrying about it. Laundry was simply another reminder that life in Italy moves at a different pace—and maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
Afternoon Closures
The culture is different throughout Italy. In smaller towns, businesses really do close from about 1:30 to 5:00 pm. In Conversano, even the larger grocery stores close! I’m not saying that I find anything wrong with it; I love the fact that stores close for owners to go home and be with their children and family. It is something that you get used to and plan around.
It didn’t take long to realize this wasn’t an inconvenience at all. It was simply a different way of valuing family and balance.
Italian Customs
Learning Italian customs is another high priority for me. For example, when entering an elevator, if there is an elderly person already in the elevator (or entering when it stops), it is proper to greet them with “Buongiorno” or some type of proper greeting for the time of day. There are so many to learn and I am a willing student.
Even today, I’m still learning the little customs that make life in Italy special. Those everyday moments have helped me feel less like a visitor and more like a local.
So I had eight months left that year to continue learning and understanding. Italy, be patient with me. I hoped that one day I would truly feel worthy of calling this beautiful country home.
What Changed the Most
When I wrote those words in 2019, I had no idea what the next five years would bring.
Italy was patient with me.
Over time, I learned the language a little better. I became more comfortable with the customs. I stopped feeling like a visitor and started feeling like a neighbor. Somewhere along the way, Italy quietly stopped being the place I dreamed about and became the place I call home.
We’ve now lived in Lucca for more than five years. During that time, we’ve written four books, created travel planners, notebooks, and an Italy-themed coloring book. Our blog has grown into an award-winning resource that helps thousands of travelers plan their own Italian adventures.
Yet, if you asked me what changed the most, it wouldn’t be the books or the blog.
It would be the people.
Some of our greatest memories have come from meeting readers who traveled to Lucca and took the time to share an espresso, lunch, or aperitivo with us. Many of those meetings turned into lasting friendships—something I never could have imagined when I first wrote this post.
Looking back, I realize that Italy didn’t need to be patient with me. I needed to be patient with myself. Building a life in another country takes time. It happens one conversation, one friendship, one new discovery, and one small step at a time.
Today, I no longer wonder if Italy will ever feel like home.
It already does.
Thank you for following along on our Italian journey. We can’t wait to see where the next five years take us.
We live in Verbania on Lago Maggiore. Had to laugh at the no watch, we have bells comment, same for me. Bells go off at 5:45 for about 5 minutes and to us, that signifies time to open a bottle of wine.
We chose Verbania since it was dog friendly. In our travels so far in Italy, Switzerland, and France, this is the only place that has poopbag dispensers all over. 99% of people here clean up after their dogs, and there are a lot of dogs. In fact today on a walk we noticed 2 more dispensers just installed on the pedestrian lane along the lake front.
Isn’t it funny that we could never use the “bells” as a measure of time in the United States! In Italy – you hear them in every town. Great to hear about Verbania, will need to check it out and visit. Thank you for your comment!